ARGUING

Never Argue With Some People
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974

A rash man said: “I know I am ignorant. I am glad I’m ignorant. I just hope I get ignoranter.”

The resigning and gentle reply was, “I’m sure your ambition will be realized.”

This was better than contending with him. Why reason with one you cannot help? Why argue with one who will later turn and rend you? It would be casting pearls before swine – allowing a fool to make a fool of you.

Some People can’t argue. They can batter you with irony, cut you with sarcasm, smear you with acid and blister you with anger, but they can’t argue. They are good at appealing to prejudice, but poor at appealing to logic. And when they lose they call you names.

Proverbs 29:9, 23:9, 18:2, 26:4

Jay’s Thoughts on “Never Argue With Some People”

The experts sources listed below will explain the value of “Never Arguing With Some People” much better than I ever could have. This is a relatively long blog but the messages contained I think are worth the read. Please read at your convenience and enjoy.

Ben Franklin used to say: “If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.

In an article borrowed from Bits & Pieces,* some suggestions are made on how to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:

Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, on of them in not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful is it is brought to your attention. Perhaps the disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.

Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction is a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst no your best.

Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.

Listen first. Give you opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.

Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas of which you agree.

Be honest. Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.

Promise to think over your opponent’s ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen

Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested it the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.

Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem. Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear. In preparation for a hard meeting, ask yourself some hard questions:

Could my opponent be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem, or will it just relieve any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponent away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, will the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?


This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!

Very Respectfully,

Jay

* Bits and Pieces, published by the The Economics Press, Fairfield, N.J.