Never Argue With Some People
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
A rash man said: “I know I am ignorant. I am glad I’m ignorant. I just hope I get ignoranter.”
The resigning and gentle reply was, “I’m sure your ambition will be realized.”
This was better than contending with him. Why reason with one you cannot help? Why argue with one who will later turn and rend you? It would be casting pearls before swine – allowing a fool to make a fool of you.
Some People can’t argue. They can batter you with irony, cut you with sarcasm, smear you with acid and blister you with anger, but they can’t argue. They are good at appealing to prejudice, but poor at appealing to logic. And when they lose they call you names.
Proverbs 29:9, 23:9, 18:2, 26:4
Jay’s Thoughts on “Never Argue With Some People”
The experts sources listed below will explain the value of “Never Arguing With Some People” much better than I ever could have. This is a relatively long blog but the messages contained I think are worth the read. Please read at your convenience and enjoy.
Ben Franklin used to say: “If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.
In an article borrowed from Bits & Pieces,* some suggestions are made on how to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, on of them in not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful is it is brought to your attention. Perhaps the disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction is a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst no your best.
Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
Listen first. Give you opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.
Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas of which you agree.
Be honest. Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
Promise to think over your opponent’s ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen
Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested it the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.
Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem. Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear. In preparation for a hard meeting, ask yourself some hard questions:
Could my opponent be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem, or will it just relieve any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponent away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, will the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
Very Respectfully,
Jay
* Bits and Pieces, published by the The Economics Press, Fairfield, N.J.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
ANSWERS
Give Right Answers
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
If you open your mouth, do it wisely. If the answer is faulty, at least the tone can be soft. Of course, some questions don’t deserve and answer.
Just as every mathematical sum has a right answer whether the mathematician knows it or not, so ever human problem has a correct answer whether man gives it or not. You may not always give it; for if you have all the answers, you haven’t had all the questions. But try. And as you succeed, more questions will come – along with honor, success, and joy for you and the world.
Proverbs 24:26, 14:3, 15:28, 26:4, 31:26
Jay’s Thoughts on “Give Right Answers”
What a great topic. The message hit me right between the eyes. This is much needed guidance and a subject that I could and should have pondered long ago.
How we approach our answers to the questions asked by family members, friends, customers, trade partners, our team mates and new acquaintances ultimately test us and set the stage for the many relationships that are built over a life time. Hence, no matter what… the answer can be genuinely given even when there is no proper answer. Those that challenge your patience, intelligence and experience deserve your best answers as well.
Finding the answer to a well asked question may require research and study. Our answer forces us to challenge our assumptions and recognize that “things do change over time”. Yesterday’s answer may not be sufficient to answer today’s question.
It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. A thoughtless answer given to a sincere question hurts both the questioner and the giver of the answer. Honor, success and joy reside in resisting the temptation to give thoughtless answers.
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
Very Respectfully,
Jay
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
If you open your mouth, do it wisely. If the answer is faulty, at least the tone can be soft. Of course, some questions don’t deserve and answer.
Just as every mathematical sum has a right answer whether the mathematician knows it or not, so ever human problem has a correct answer whether man gives it or not. You may not always give it; for if you have all the answers, you haven’t had all the questions. But try. And as you succeed, more questions will come – along with honor, success, and joy for you and the world.
Proverbs 24:26, 14:3, 15:28, 26:4, 31:26
Jay’s Thoughts on “Give Right Answers”
What a great topic. The message hit me right between the eyes. This is much needed guidance and a subject that I could and should have pondered long ago.
How we approach our answers to the questions asked by family members, friends, customers, trade partners, our team mates and new acquaintances ultimately test us and set the stage for the many relationships that are built over a life time. Hence, no matter what… the answer can be genuinely given even when there is no proper answer. Those that challenge your patience, intelligence and experience deserve your best answers as well.
Finding the answer to a well asked question may require research and study. Our answer forces us to challenge our assumptions and recognize that “things do change over time”. Yesterday’s answer may not be sufficient to answer today’s question.
It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. A thoughtless answer given to a sincere question hurts both the questioner and the giver of the answer. Honor, success and joy reside in resisting the temptation to give thoughtless answers.
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
Very Respectfully,
Jay
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Anger
Be Slow to Anger
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
Be calm. Hot heads boil fast and let off steam, wasting energy. You can’t win in life’s contest by squandering your energy in wild fury. Wrath is a victory for folly – defeat for the person.
Horace, the Latin poet who died in 8 B.C., said, “Anger is a short madness.” A madness that spurs one to do what he normally would not say. A madness that spurs on to do what he normally would not do. A madness that he later regrets.
One way to lessen your anger is to be in the right. People in the wrong get angry faster. Another way is to think. Some people use wrath as a substitute for thinking. And still a third way, be unselfish. The more self-centered one is, the more easily his temper is ignited.
Proverbs 16:32, 14:17, 15:18, 27:3, 29:22
Jay’s Thoughts on Anger – Three (3) wishes
anger
n 1: a strong emotion; a feeling that is oriented toward some
real or supposed grievance
Three (3) wishes
1. I wish I had a nickel for every time that I got angry and said something that I had to apologize for later.
2. I wish that I could see how ridiculous I looked as I am getting angry, with righteous indignation.
3. I wish that I could live the rest of my life and never once be angry.
I told Dave Matlock this evening that I tried last night to write a blog on anger but had to stop because I got to angry to write. Wow, that is pretty lame. The problem was that I just could not find words to define how angry it makes me, at me, to get angry.
The good news is that I have three (3) wishes and I am trying harder than ever to not get angry. I know I can control my anger if I care enough about how I am perceived by my family, friends, co-workers and anyone else I come into contact with. I know I can do it.
Wrap up:
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
By the way... after due consideration and a better understanding of the time required to keep up a daily blog with my limited writing skills... I will limit myself to two blogs a week. I will post my blogs on Monday and Thursday.
Very Respectfully,
Jay
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
Be calm. Hot heads boil fast and let off steam, wasting energy. You can’t win in life’s contest by squandering your energy in wild fury. Wrath is a victory for folly – defeat for the person.
Horace, the Latin poet who died in 8 B.C., said, “Anger is a short madness.” A madness that spurs one to do what he normally would not say. A madness that spurs on to do what he normally would not do. A madness that he later regrets.
One way to lessen your anger is to be in the right. People in the wrong get angry faster. Another way is to think. Some people use wrath as a substitute for thinking. And still a third way, be unselfish. The more self-centered one is, the more easily his temper is ignited.
Proverbs 16:32, 14:17, 15:18, 27:3, 29:22
Jay’s Thoughts on Anger – Three (3) wishes
anger
n 1: a strong emotion; a feeling that is oriented toward some
real or supposed grievance
Three (3) wishes
1. I wish I had a nickel for every time that I got angry and said something that I had to apologize for later.
2. I wish that I could see how ridiculous I looked as I am getting angry, with righteous indignation.
3. I wish that I could live the rest of my life and never once be angry.
I told Dave Matlock this evening that I tried last night to write a blog on anger but had to stop because I got to angry to write. Wow, that is pretty lame. The problem was that I just could not find words to define how angry it makes me, at me, to get angry.
The good news is that I have three (3) wishes and I am trying harder than ever to not get angry. I know I can control my anger if I care enough about how I am perceived by my family, friends, co-workers and anyone else I come into contact with. I know I can do it.
Wrap up:
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
By the way... after due consideration and a better understanding of the time required to keep up a daily blog with my limited writing skills... I will limit myself to two blogs a week. I will post my blogs on Monday and Thursday.
Very Respectfully,
Jay
Monday, October 19, 2009
Adversity
Adversity
Stand Up to Adversity
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
Adversity comes to everybody sooner or later. It slows all men down for a while; it knocks many down, some get up, others stay down and get trampled. It’s the man that gets up the most times after he is knocked down that wins.
Taking heart to meet adversity can be you ladder whereby you climb to greater heights. Sorrow can turn to joy; poverty can lead to riches; and persecution can be the occasion for heroics. But you can’t climb flat on your back. You’ll have to get on your feet.
Many of our troubles are due to the world’s dragging us; and they would end if we would stand up to them. Stand! Stand! And keep standing! And keep moving! It’s hard to lose while on your feet.
Proverbs 24:10, 12:13, 8:14
Jay’s Thoughts on Adversity:
Definition: adversity [ədˈvɜːsɪtɪ] n pl -ties
1. distress; affliction; hardship
2. an unfortunate event or incident
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged 6th Edition 2003. © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003
We have all experienced adversity at some point in our lives. For me, adversity always comes when I least expect it. When I am absolutely comfortable and unprepared, adversity comes in low and hard like a 280 pound NFL linebacker. Adversity comes with no mercy and no forgiveness. Adversity makes me question everything I believe in and challenges my core values. Adversity is like a slap in the face. A wake up call to maintain my Plan A, Plan B & Plan C.
Minimizing Adversity requires that one be prepared for anything that life brings. Preparation requires the discipline to do the little things everyday that will provide the strength to overcome adversity when it comes. Little things like financial discipline, physical discipline, work discipline, spiritual discipline, mental discipline.
Overcoming adversity simply requires one to have faith. Well maybe it is not really simple because I speak of the deepest kind of faith. A faith that demands we get up when knocked down and keep moving forward one step at a time. We find the kind of faith that metaphorically moves mountains. We find a faith so strong that we are able to look fear in the face and smile back unafraid. The kind of faith that Never, Never, Never, Never gives up. You know what I mean! Faith!
When adversity comes, we find a way, or make a way, to dig deep inside our being to find the faith required for us to overcome adversity, no matter how adverse the situation.
Like Eddie Lopez says, we need to Keep It, KISS. So let's Keep It, Kiss.
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
Very Respectfully,
Jay
Stand Up to Adversity
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
Adversity comes to everybody sooner or later. It slows all men down for a while; it knocks many down, some get up, others stay down and get trampled. It’s the man that gets up the most times after he is knocked down that wins.
Taking heart to meet adversity can be you ladder whereby you climb to greater heights. Sorrow can turn to joy; poverty can lead to riches; and persecution can be the occasion for heroics. But you can’t climb flat on your back. You’ll have to get on your feet.
Many of our troubles are due to the world’s dragging us; and they would end if we would stand up to them. Stand! Stand! And keep standing! And keep moving! It’s hard to lose while on your feet.
Proverbs 24:10, 12:13, 8:14
Jay’s Thoughts on Adversity:
Definition: adversity [ədˈvɜːsɪtɪ] n pl -ties
1. distress; affliction; hardship
2. an unfortunate event or incident
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged 6th Edition 2003. © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003
We have all experienced adversity at some point in our lives. For me, adversity always comes when I least expect it. When I am absolutely comfortable and unprepared, adversity comes in low and hard like a 280 pound NFL linebacker. Adversity comes with no mercy and no forgiveness. Adversity makes me question everything I believe in and challenges my core values. Adversity is like a slap in the face. A wake up call to maintain my Plan A, Plan B & Plan C.
Minimizing Adversity requires that one be prepared for anything that life brings. Preparation requires the discipline to do the little things everyday that will provide the strength to overcome adversity when it comes. Little things like financial discipline, physical discipline, work discipline, spiritual discipline, mental discipline.
Overcoming adversity simply requires one to have faith. Well maybe it is not really simple because I speak of the deepest kind of faith. A faith that demands we get up when knocked down and keep moving forward one step at a time. We find the kind of faith that metaphorically moves mountains. We find a faith so strong that we are able to look fear in the face and smile back unafraid. The kind of faith that Never, Never, Never, Never gives up. You know what I mean! Faith!
When adversity comes, we find a way, or make a way, to dig deep inside our being to find the faith required for us to overcome adversity, no matter how adverse the situation.
Like Eddie Lopez says, we need to Keep It, KISS. So let's Keep It, Kiss.
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
Very Respectfully,
Jay
Sunday, October 18, 2009
ACTION
Do Rather Than Talk
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
Do!
Perform!
Don’t Just Talk!
All talk and no accomplishment makes one a swaggering breath waster.
It’s a shame the tongue doesn’t tire as easily as the limbs and back. What a disgrace for there to be more go in the tongue than there is in the feet.
Man is like a watch: what he says doesn’t amount to anything, if he never moves. A man’s action tells us of his insides and of how wound up he is - tells us more than what he says.
Let us act, therefore, to bring our deed in keeping with our words.
Proverbs 14:23, 26:16 and 13:4
Jay finds a book… or a book finds Jay:
Life has a way of surprising me in ways I could have never foreseen. I found a book in my home sometime in late September 2009 that I can not for the life of me explain where it came from. The name of the book is “Thoughts of Gold in Words of Silver”. The book has a 1974 copyright and was written by “Leroy Brownlow”. Not only did I find the book but somehow it kept getting in my way prior to my opening the book. What do I mean? It seemed like the book kept showing up no matter where I went in our home and I just did not see it. I mean to say that it was there but I was oblivious to why it was there. Finally, one day in late September, I saw the book that I did not see.
The book is a unique golden color and the title is written in silver ink. Once I saw this book I had not been able to see, I felt compelled to open the book. As I started skimming the book I noticed that in the top left corner of each page was a word. The words of wisdom in up to four or five paragraphs would be written below the page word. Finally, there were numbers listed below the paragraphs of written wisdom. I could not figure out what the numbers were about so I decided to read the forward. Turns out that there are 86 topics that Leroy Brownlow chose to use and support through his interpretation of “The Book of Proverbs”
Now for those who don’t know me well enough to know that I am a Christian, well now you do. I will leave my religious beliefs there for the time being.
“The Book of Proverbs” was written by Solomon. a man 0f great wisdom and intellect. There are 31 Proverbs and their wisdom continues to stand the test of time.
Jay’s Thoughts on Action:
We all do this from time to time… We talk about all the things that we plan to do. We talk about our intentions for our spiritual growth, our families, our jobs, our physical health, our finances and how we will deal with our expectations for each. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that we are not measured by what we say, but by what we do. On my office wall are a number or reminders to keep me moving in the direction that I personally chose to go.
One of the most important duties that we embrace, are measuring our “RESULTS”. We should all desire to have objective job measurements so that we are able to know how our efforts compare to our objectives. The net of these is our RESULTS. Now when I dig down deep and ask myself should I be satisfied with anything less than a result of 100% I am testing my own resolve for slippage. I dig in my heels and accept that 100% is 100% and any thing less does not meet the standard and should be considered unacceptable.
The message is not to under promise and over perform. The challenge is to make a promise and perform to our highest standards. The more we demand of ourselves the more we achieve. So in the immortal words of Yoda to Luke Skywalker…"Luke there is not try, there is only do"!
Wrap-up:
I plan to send one of these word out each day for the next 86 working days. I hope that you will enjoy these insights and challenge me with you thoughts and comments.
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
Very Respectfully,
Jay
By: Leroy Brownlow copyright 1974
Do!
Perform!
Don’t Just Talk!
All talk and no accomplishment makes one a swaggering breath waster.
It’s a shame the tongue doesn’t tire as easily as the limbs and back. What a disgrace for there to be more go in the tongue than there is in the feet.
Man is like a watch: what he says doesn’t amount to anything, if he never moves. A man’s action tells us of his insides and of how wound up he is - tells us more than what he says.
Let us act, therefore, to bring our deed in keeping with our words.
Proverbs 14:23, 26:16 and 13:4
Jay finds a book… or a book finds Jay:
Life has a way of surprising me in ways I could have never foreseen. I found a book in my home sometime in late September 2009 that I can not for the life of me explain where it came from. The name of the book is “Thoughts of Gold in Words of Silver”. The book has a 1974 copyright and was written by “Leroy Brownlow”. Not only did I find the book but somehow it kept getting in my way prior to my opening the book. What do I mean? It seemed like the book kept showing up no matter where I went in our home and I just did not see it. I mean to say that it was there but I was oblivious to why it was there. Finally, one day in late September, I saw the book that I did not see.
The book is a unique golden color and the title is written in silver ink. Once I saw this book I had not been able to see, I felt compelled to open the book. As I started skimming the book I noticed that in the top left corner of each page was a word. The words of wisdom in up to four or five paragraphs would be written below the page word. Finally, there were numbers listed below the paragraphs of written wisdom. I could not figure out what the numbers were about so I decided to read the forward. Turns out that there are 86 topics that Leroy Brownlow chose to use and support through his interpretation of “The Book of Proverbs”
Now for those who don’t know me well enough to know that I am a Christian, well now you do. I will leave my religious beliefs there for the time being.
“The Book of Proverbs” was written by Solomon. a man 0f great wisdom and intellect. There are 31 Proverbs and their wisdom continues to stand the test of time.
Jay’s Thoughts on Action:
We all do this from time to time… We talk about all the things that we plan to do. We talk about our intentions for our spiritual growth, our families, our jobs, our physical health, our finances and how we will deal with our expectations for each. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that we are not measured by what we say, but by what we do. On my office wall are a number or reminders to keep me moving in the direction that I personally chose to go.
One of the most important duties that we embrace, are measuring our “RESULTS”. We should all desire to have objective job measurements so that we are able to know how our efforts compare to our objectives. The net of these is our RESULTS. Now when I dig down deep and ask myself should I be satisfied with anything less than a result of 100% I am testing my own resolve for slippage. I dig in my heels and accept that 100% is 100% and any thing less does not meet the standard and should be considered unacceptable.
The message is not to under promise and over perform. The challenge is to make a promise and perform to our highest standards. The more we demand of ourselves the more we achieve. So in the immortal words of Yoda to Luke Skywalker…"Luke there is not try, there is only do"!
Wrap-up:
I plan to send one of these word out each day for the next 86 working days. I hope that you will enjoy these insights and challenge me with you thoughts and comments.
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember "if you think you can or think you can't... you are right"! Now go out and make something happen!!!
Very Respectfully,
Jay
Live Happy, Without Limits
Each Week I search for inspiration and motivational messages which I then share with my realtor contacts, friends, family and co-workers. The message below was this past weeks inspiration. I hope you find it as motivating and inspiring as I did!
Are you living life happy? Will you never give up and finish strong? A friend sent me the link to a powerful video about someone who never gives up and continues to live without limits, making the choice to be better rather than bitter! This is not an easy thing to do if you are one that only focuses on their weaknesses vs. their strengths! I encourage each and everyone of you to watch the video and empower yourselves to Live a Happy Life, Never Give Up, and Be Thankful for all that you have!
Inspiring Video
Are you living life happy? Will you never give up and finish strong? A friend sent me the link to a powerful video about someone who never gives up and continues to live without limits, making the choice to be better rather than bitter! This is not an easy thing to do if you are one that only focuses on their weaknesses vs. their strengths! I encourage each and everyone of you to watch the video and empower yourselves to Live a Happy Life, Never Give Up, and Be Thankful for all that you have!
Inspiring Video
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Seven Things To Do
The "Seven Thing to Do" listed below are taken from an article that I forwarded to The TriStone Team a few weeks ago. It was written by Harvey MacKay about Coach John Wooden. I like Harvey's weekly newsletter because he almost always writes about something that touches me in a positive and motivating way.
I would recommend that you take a few moments and study the life of Coach Wooden. He recently turned 99 years of age. He continues to live a life built around the "Seven Things to Do" listed below:
Quoted from Harvey MacKay's newsletter 9/24/09...
Coach Wooden credits his father for grounding him in the principles on which he has based his life and career.
"When I graduated from our little three-room grade school in Centerton, Indiana," says Wooden, "my father gave me a little card on which he had written out his creed." At the top of the card was written: "Seven Things to Do."
Tony overlayed the "Seven Things To Do" above the TriStone Homes Logo. I have a printed copy, pinned to my wall and check myself against the list everyday. The older I get the more I realize how little I know and how much I have to learn about life in general.
In an attempt to self-educate I am currently reading several books that you may want to check out should you have an interest in stretching your mind to the limits of your imagination.
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember if you think you can or think you can't... you are right!!! Now go out and make something happen!!!
I would recommend that you take a few moments and study the life of Coach Wooden. He recently turned 99 years of age. He continues to live a life built around the "Seven Things to Do" listed below:
Quoted from Harvey MacKay's newsletter 9/24/09...
Coach Wooden credits his father for grounding him in the principles on which he has based his life and career.
"When I graduated from our little three-room grade school in Centerton, Indiana," says Wooden, "my father gave me a little card on which he had written out his creed." At the top of the card was written: "Seven Things to Do."
Tony overlayed the "Seven Things To Do" above the TriStone Homes Logo. I have a printed copy, pinned to my wall and check myself against the list everyday. The older I get the more I realize how little I know and how much I have to learn about life in general.
In an attempt to self-educate I am currently reading several books that you may want to check out should you have an interest in stretching your mind to the limits of your imagination.
- Small Giants" by Bo Burlingham - about Companies that Choose to Be Great Instead of Big
- "Rocking Wall St by Gary Marks - about investing in hedge funds
- "Weeding of the Waters" by Peter L. Bernstein - about building the Erie Canal
- "Lone Survivor" by Marcus Luttrell with Patrick Robinson - A study of the lost heroes of Seal Team 10.
- "Good to Great" by Jim Collins - Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't.
This is Jay McJunkin signing off... Remember if you think you can or think you can't... you are right!!! Now go out and make something happen!!!
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